10 Tinder Tips and Tricks to Help You Navigate 21st Century Dating
(Some links may be affiliate links and at no cost to you, will earn me a small commission. See full disclosure here.)
We live in a world where a large amount of the single population (aka me) reside to be found by the next hottest thing on dating sites. Sites like Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid allow you to meet other single people who meet a certain criteria you have set, such as age and the amount of miles away. If you’re anything like me, modern dating makes you want to punch yourself in the face and I’m here to help you make it a bit more bearable.
Now, I’ve been on many different dating apps. I’ve gotta say… I cannot stand when any random person can contact me. There’s something about someone being able to message me when it is not mutual just irks the living shit out of me. Hence why I’ve chosen two sites over the lot of em.
Tinder and Bumble.
Tinder and Bumble have the same concept. You see pictures (and a bio, which let’s be honest, is often neglected) and have the option to either swipe left and say “um, no thanks,” or you can swipe right, and cross your fingers that they swipe the same way for you. Today, we’re going to primarily focus on Tinder.
I get it. Tinder has a bad rap. I’ve had some major wins. I’ve had some crappy losses. It’s honestly just the luck of the draw and since Tinder is one of the most widely used apps, it’s easier to find a larger amount of people to swoon over momentarily. I’ve matched with dudes in bands I love, guys who just wanted the dirty, true gentlemen, a stalker, and my last boyfriend.
Through it all, I’ve learned some tricks and tips and wanted to share these lil nuggets of knowledge with you to make this painful journey of 21st century dating with you a bit more bearable. Lord knows it still makes me want to punch myself in my throat still, but hey. We in this together, y’all.
1. Never put a group picture as your first picture.
No one wants to have to guess which one you are and for me, that’s an immediate swipe left because I am lazy and don’t want to have to work for it. It is what it is. You want your first picture to be your best, most flattering picture. Avoid having a filtered picture as your first picture, as cute as that dog ilter can make you. Save it for a later picture or for Snapchat. I can’t tell you to ditch it all together, because I’m guilty of having a damn dog filter pic on my profile. Also, do not place a picture that your face is obstructed by anything, such as sunglasses and do not make this picture a pic in which you are far away and hard to see.
2. If you have to verify what girl/guy or child is in the picture somewhere in your bio, you probably shouldn’t use that picture.
3. Don’t put just a picture of your car or dog. Just don’t. We get it, you’re into cars and think dogs are the keys to everyone’s lonely little hearts, but I highly advise against this. I can’t help but to judge you. Sue me.
4. Try to know exactly what you want from the app and make sure to communicate this. This is where shit gets real, real quick (you know, in cases where they just want a hook up and just immediately floor it). But it’s better to get it out of the way and not to waste anyone’s time if you are in a different mindset than your match. Just remember to communicate this with some tact. (Lord knows I’ve been one to troll a lil bit when it comes to this question).
5. Actually put some thought into your bio. Don’t just put “get to know me.” I get it’s hard to avoid the stereotypical “adventures, family, Netflix. my dog” sort of bios, but at least try. Those motivational quotes and number of tattoos you have just don’t work on me. My last relationship’s swipe right was honestly locked in because his bio was so solid and you got a hint of his personality from it. Bios can drive conversation ideas. Use it wisely.
6. Do not message someone you found on the app on their other social media if you did not match with them. It’s thirsty as hell and respect that you have not matched and therefore, they are not interested.
7. Don’t rush to take the conversation off of Tinder, but don’t let things fizzle out. I know. This is very vague and you’re probably wondering how the hell to gauge that. Tinder matches have a small attention span that you must work in to really engage in conversation. I’ve found it is rare to hold someone’s attention on the app for more than a few days. If the conversation is going mutually well, you will honestly know the perfect time to take it off the app. It’s kind of obvious when conversation isn’t going well. Use that as a sign to let it go.
8. Superlikes & Tinder Plus? Use this action sparingly to none. While this does bring you to the top of the deck, it can come off too strong (this could be a pro or a con). While we’re on the topic of things that are not necessarily worth it, Tinder Plus. This could be beneficial for those who travel and want to change their location back to their home town and if you get on a power trip and swipe left furiously like I do without even looking, but otherwise, nah.
9. Do not swipe right for everyone. Do not value the amount of matches you build up. I have read that it is said the more you swipe right for everyone, the further down on the stack you will fall, resulting in less people viewing your profile. It is also said that the more active you are on the app, the more people you will reach. Keep this in mind and remember quality over quantity.
10. Do not be afraid to message first. What’s the point of matching with people (besides that slightly unhealthy momentary ego boost) if you don’t want to actually engage with the other person? It’s also said that you will show up more frequent if you engage your matches. Like I have mentioned before, use their bio to strike up a conversation topic. Be observant and see if there is something on their profile you can use to talk about. Unmatch those who do not respond or message you within a set time frame. If they don’t message you within the first week, tell ’em boy bye.
If you have any hilarious or horror stories you want to share, I’d love to hear them! Shoot me an email at hello (at) lemonjaded (dot) com
Now, good luck and godspeed and if you ever need someone to punch you in the face because of how modern dating makes you feel, I’m here for ya.